online: 30 march 2005
modified: 30 march 2005

29 march 2005 a detached world


13:53: a cold misty day in march. I haven't been here for 2 or 3 days and i hasten to note my rapidly changing state of mind as adaptation to reading and writing and indoor life gives way to much more outward and coherent perceptions amid trees and ponds and birds each looking different, and more connected, in the mist.

There is dew on the grass. Nearly all the trees are in bud. The air is still, a crow is cawing in the distance, two cyclists speed past, and now a man walks by pushing a bicycle, i hear a plane in the mist or cloud above me, but mostly i feel alone, refreshed by the continuity of the things seen when the air itself is half visible and all things appear joined... by minute droplets of moisture.

...a man walks by and says 'good afternoon' quite loudly (sounds as if he means it!)... another walks by with his head turned away as he looks up at the trees... two old men with walking sticks and a German Shepherd dog walk slowly by, talking to each other and looking straight ahead... a woman wanders back and fore as if uncertain where to go... and now i'm alone again in the mist and i decide to walk on...

...how does one decide (semi-consciously) on such actions?... to answer that would be to know 'what is life' - for such tiny decisions shape most of our experience...

I enter the forest and surprise a small rabbit who leaps into a bramble and freezes - and i freeze also - each waiting for the other to move... eventually the rabbit begins to nibble something and i continue walking...

From the hilltop i see that things up to half a kilometre away are only slightly obscured by the mist - those about one kilometre away are only just visible - and beyond that i see only mist... (softened worlds within worlds).



17:07 And now i am back, editing this on the desktop, but my thoughts are still in that detached world of cold mist... (and in the intricacy of writing).



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